Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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