Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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