just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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