Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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