Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
