I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
