In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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