Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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