mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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