Cold hands, warm shart.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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