i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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