I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
