Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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