you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
