I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
