Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Panties = found
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
