so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
