i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
