they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
