This girl is more easily done than said...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
