plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
