i would punch a child for taco bell
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
