he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
