I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
