There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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