I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
