Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
