Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
