Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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