So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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