2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
