is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
My balls are so social today.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
