I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She bit a glass in half.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
