Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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