you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
