If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
