Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
