He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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