I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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