a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
