bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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