You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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