Tell her she can't have a vagina
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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