it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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