How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
