I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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