nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize