sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
