I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
