dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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