who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize