There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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