I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
