I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize