what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
love makes seman taste better
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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