my phone cant type all the emotion im having
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
