That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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