I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
