No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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