ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
