That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
