If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
