I want to walk on stilts...naked
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
