I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
