"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
