i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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