mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
