I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
