no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize