If that was your dad, he is hot
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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