whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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