FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
