yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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