i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
